Placid Petals

“Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside, but it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up.”- Audrey Hepburn

ChrisRandallPhotography

I love that quote, it makes me snicker every time I scroll to the top of the page. Actually, one of my first childhood memories is getting yelled at by my teenage sister for eating her lipstick. I was maybe three or four, and it was one of those purpley-pink, swirly, peppermint flavored lipstick that is supposed to change color according to your mood. It must have been an 80's thing. I'm pretty sure I wasn't going for inner beauty... I just figured if it looks pretty and it smells good, it must taste pretty good too.

I'd be willing to wager that Audrey Hepburn didn't need to ingest any makeup to achieve inner beauty. When I began researching her for this shoot, I was impressed with her humanitarian track record. I had no idea she devoted so much of her life to UNICEF, volunteering in some of the most impoverished communities in the world. In fact, I didn't know much about her at all. Aside from watching Breakfast at Tiffany's years ago, all I knew of Audrey Hepburn was her impeccable style and flawless beauty. Her look has had such an impact on modern fashion that women all over the world recreate it, sometimes without really being aware of who they are channeling. When you pull your hair back, put on a simple dress, and let your eyes do the talking, that's Audrey. When you put on a pair of pearl studs and feel instantly elegant, that's Audrey. When you realize that showing just a hint of collarbone can be infinitely sexier than any miniskirt or push-up bra, that's Audrey. But she just may have been on to something with the whole inner beauty thing. Yes, she is insanely, naturally gorgeous, and has won countless awards for her acting talent. But perhaps part of her spark, that light in her eyes that makes it hard to stop looking at her, comes from the kind, generous soul within.

I am going to admit something to you.

I almost didn't publish this post, because I thought the picture made me look fat. 

Now, before I start getting hate e-mail for promoting anorexic ideals, allow me to clarify. I do not have body dysmorphic disorder- I know I'm far from fat. I'm not one of those skinny girls who stands there grasping a quarter inch of skin on her belly, going "Oh my god, look at this, I need to go on a diet!", just so her friends can ooze compliments all over her  and lament about how exceptionally thin she is. But I do have some low self-esteem days, and looking at myself next to the demure, waifey Audrey Hepburn made me feel like... a moose. But it wasn't just my body I picked apart... I was disappointed with the whole picture. The photographer had done a great job- the lighting was perfect, the angles and lines were beautiful and artistic... The problem was me.

My hair, which I had pulled back to emulate Audrey's neat, elegant hairstyle, just looked like a greasy ponytail. The black  liquid eyeliner I had painstakingly applied in perfect, bold lines extending just beyond the corners of my eyes, was virtually invisible in the picture. The nude lipstick, which served to draw attention from Audrey's lovely, tiny pout to her big brown eyes, just gave me a washed out look. And the red dress I had been over the moon when I found, because of how close the cut and floral print were to Audrey's dress, had come across garish and unflattering next to her beautiful black and white photo. I never deluded myself into thinking I could compete with Old Hollywood's icons, that wasn't my goal when I created this blog. But I did want to channel their immutable beauty, style, and grace into vibrant, living color photographs, and create a little silver screen glamour of my own.  I was so inspired when I came across this image of Audrey, but my vision just hadn't translated in the picture. I had failed.

I sat at my kitchen table, opened my laptop, and pulled up Audrey Hepburn's photo next to mine. With a sigh of despair, I began to study them... Where had I gone wrong? My gloomy thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of the kitchen door opening, followed by the soft shuffle of footy pajamas across the floor. My little boy Max had gotten out of bed for a drink of water, but forgot about it when he saw me sitting at the table, and climbed up for an extra goodnight cuddle instead. He looked at the two pictures on the computer screen, and said "You look pretty in those pictures, Mommy." I thanked him, laughing to myself. A 6-year-old boy, at least, was convinced by my rendition of Audrey's photo. Before I could tell him that the lady in the black and white picture was an actress, he pointed to my picture and said in his squeaky, no front teeth way, "I like that one better." I had to smile. "Oh, is that so?" He snuggled closer, smooshing his cheek against mine. "Yea... that one is better. It looks warmer."

It's quite possible that the warm, red tones of my color photograph were simply more appealing to a child than the shades of gray in Audrey Hepburn's picture. His sleepy eyes hadn't differentiated  between the two fair-skinned, dark haired women in flowery dresses. But just maybe, his perception of warmth came from the familiarity of the lips that read him bedtime stories, the arms that hugged him goodnight, and the eyes that had looked upon him with love the moment he came into the world.

After seeing the picture through his eyes, it was beautiful to me, too. 

The styling details that are the meat and potatoes of a fashion and beauty blog didn't quite come across (but make sure you check out the product list below anyway, because I swear, in person I got it dead on!) I deemed this shoot blog-worthy, because I don't think I got the picture all wrong after all. I captured the most timeless, enduring quality of Audrey Hepburn's style legacy- inner beauty.

And I didn't even have to eat any makeup.

Being a woman in the age of Facebook is just plain hard sometimes. Technology has given us the ability to take unlimited selfies at will, and access to apps that allow you to airbrush at the touch of a button gives the illusion that it's not just celebrities who are flawless anymore, it's our friends and acquaintances as well.Tell me about a moment in your life when you were able to ditch all your insecurities and hangups, and just be you, and feel good about it. How do you get in touch with your inner beauty?

Product List

Makeup

 L'Oreal Lineur Intense in "Carbon Black", Drugstores 9$

Lipstick Queen Lipstick in "Butterfly Ball Trance", Ulta 24$


Clothing

White Elbow Length Gloves, Purchased at Fashionista Vintage and Variety in New Haven, CT (I could live at that store!),  5$

Red Daisy Dress, Manito U.S.A., Pretty Woman Outlet, 20$ (Pretty Woman is one of those cheap-o discount clothing stores here in CT. Most of their inventory has a very "lady of the night" look, but if you are willing to browse through every rack, you'll find some real treasures).